Taking Control of Your Life: Get Off My Ship
Image created by the author with AI
There’s a mysterious peacefulness to the ocean. Many people, city, or country, think of the ocean as a whole other world. I grew up with sun-drenched days and moonlit nights, and the ocean always felt mysterious and exciting. Funny thing, surrounded by the ocean in South Florida, I still saw more of it on TV as a kid. I always heard Black folks weren’t beach people, but many of us worked in fancy hotels, cleaning and serving, by the ocean. A ship is to life’s journey as a car is to a road trip.
Taking charge of your life is like navigating a storm at sea. Steering requires a steady hand, knowledge of the currents, and the wisdom to make timely adjustments to your sails. Life’s a journey, and it’s crucial to accept that not everyone will travel alongside you, given the diversity of personalities and opinions. Self-awareness, relational impact on personal growth, and strategies for self-empowerment are the article’s key focuses.
While the desires for freedom, justice, and equality are universal among us, pursuing fundamental human rights remains a cause championed by only a segment of the population. How can I fight for my civil rights and freedoms—which extend my inherent rights—if people cannot acknowledge and respect my fundamental human rights? We must actively manage our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, striving towards a heightened level of self-awareness and understanding of who we are.
“I’m so far ahead of my time - I’m about to start another life, Look behind you, I’m ‘bout to pass you twice.Back to the future. Gotta slow up for the present.” Hovi Baby JAY-Z
The Importance of Self-Awareness
Self-awareness is the compass that guides individuals through the complexities of life. It involves understanding one’s strengths, weaknesses, values, and emotions. When individuals are self-aware, they can make informed decisions that align with their true selves. Therefore, upon hearing that I shouldn’t like the ocean or the beach, I developed my own understanding of what the ocean represents.
Much like a master gardener tending to an estate garden, self-awareness allows individuals to identify which plants thrive in their environment and which one’s need to be pruned away. This metaphor shows how crucial it is to encourage positive effects and remove negative ones and not let the industry scapegoat you with AI.
Writing and using AI detector, It’s like going to a private university and people thinking it was affirmative action and not self determination. Or the GOP citing individual Medicaid and welfare fraud to determine the entire system is corrupt (for minorities).
Did you know: Of the citizens on medicaid in the United States, white people account for nearly 40% while blacks combined for approximately 18% - so twice as many whites use Medicaid.
Funny how it doesn’t apply to white-collar crime like insider trading? I read an article on Medium.com that any writing that includes introductory transition clauses like “moreover,” or “furthermore” definitively curates all AI influenced writing. Meanwhile, an entire cottage industry developed by software developers using refreshed logistic regression or even linear regression algorithms to detect AI permeates on writing platforms as gatekeepers deciding what is real or not real.
These machine language software programs discriminate against minorities and non-English writers. But platforms and publications use these biased software to tell them what to publish, similar to corporate banking software used in communities all over to deny access to business and personal loans for minorities. Gatekeeper is a Gatekeeper. Many critics debate AI bias, plagiarism, and writing integrity. I equate this with being honest with your reader and writer and this is part of self-awareness.
However, it’s not wholly inaccurate to equate algorithmic bias in content selection with discriminatory lending practices. While both can perpetuate inequality, the mechanisms and potential for harm differ slightly. We often see algorithmic bias as unintentional; it stems from flaws in data and design because of a lack of coders’ diversity, whereas discriminatory lending is a deliberate practice driven by prejudice. Also (can’t say furthermore?), the claim that platforms and publications are driven by biased software could ignore the role of human editorial judgment and the potential for countermeasures to mitigate algorithmic bias. I endorse human editorial and academic countermeasures as part of journalistic integrity.
Self-awareness, crucial for living authentically, can be improved through practices like journaling, meditation, and seeking feedback from trusted confidantes and not letting algorithms determine your worth or value. Self-awareness also contributes to a more fulfilling life, allowing individuals to recognize their unique attributes and the difference they make.
Five years after a Supreme Court Justice Thurgood Marshall commented on the desegregation decision, only 6% of educational institutions had integrated—laws alone cannot guarantee progress so self-awareness is critical.
Recognizing Personal Values
Understanding personal values is a critical aspect of self-awareness. I value positive mental health and the peace it brings me. Decisions and priorities are based on values. For instance, someone who values honesty may find themselves at odds with individuals who frequently engage in deceitful behavior. The recent presidential election in November 2024 demonstrated to me that honesty is no longer held as a value or moral necessity to lead or be a decision-maker let alone lead a nation.
By recognizing and articulating personal values, individuals can create boundaries that protect their well-being. This process is like building a fortress around one’s castle or deciding who sails aboard your ship. This careful approach helps build stronger relationships and encourages personal growth. When people’s actions reflect their values, they tend to feel more motivated and fulfilled. This might even inspire others to think about their own values, which could lead to more self-awareness and authenticity. Mindful that a new generation of educated and accredited gatekeepers will block ascension despite no evidence, only presumption making it even more important to exercise emotional intelligence to navigate the treacherous waters of life.
The Role of Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence (EI) is another vital component of self-awareness. It encompasses the ability to understand and manage one’s emotions, as well as the emotions of others. High EI enables individuals to navigate social complexities with grace and empathy. I like to think that I have attained a certain level of EI through lived experience often shared through poetry and some fictional writings.
“I used to give a fuck, now I give a fuck less - What do I think of success? It sucks, too much stress I guess I blew up quick -′Cause friends I grew up with - See me as a premie, but I’m not, and my nuts big -I don’t know what the fuss is, my career is illustrious - My rep is impeccable; I′m not to be [f@cked ]with, with -Shit, let that [b#tch] breathe!” Success (featuring Nas), Rapper Jay-Z, American Gangster, 2006.
Consider emotional intelligence as a finely tuned instrument that allows individuals to harmonize with those around them. When one is attuned to their own feelings and the feelings of others, they can foster deeper connections while also recognizing when certain relationships may be detrimental. This awareness is key to taking control of one’s life. My discovery allowed me to tell people who were not for me to, “Get off My Ship (Life).”
Additionally, people with high emotional intelligence are often better equipped to handle stress and conflict, as they can approach challenging situations with a calm and measured response. This not only benefits their personal relationships but also enhances their professional interactions, paving the way for collaborative and productive environments. This helped me to find allies in spaces I normally would choose not to helping my personal growth.
The Impact of Relationships on Personal Growth
Relationships play a significant role in shaping an individual’s identity and personal growth. The people one surrounds themselves with can either uplift or hinder progress. It is essential to evaluate these relationships critically and consistently. As much as I like to remove people from my ship, as the captain, I welcome others aboard.
Think of relationships as the soil in which personal growth occurs. Rich, nutrient-dense soil promotes healthy growth, while poor soil stifles it. Figuring out if your relationships are supportive or toxic is easy if you just look at them.
Identifying Toxic Relationships
Toxic relationships usually involve negativity, manipulation, and a lack of support. Many domestic abuse survivors discovered these traits in their emotional and physical abuse. These relationships can drain energy and diminish self-esteem, making it difficult for individuals to thrive. Identifying such relationships is crucial for personal development.
Signs of toxicity may include constant criticism, lack of respect for boundaries, or a pattern of emotional unavailability. Recognizing these red flags is the first step toward reclaiming control over one’s life. Just as a gardener must remove weeds to allow flowers to bloom, individuals must let go of toxic relationships to foster their own growth.
Lately, in this era of perilous belief, people deem everything from the “Left” liberal fake news, and independents pretend the center is neither wrong nor right, but simply exists. Meanwhile, the conspiracy “Right” central hub batters journalism accountability like a five-year-old birthday party pinata. Picture sugar fueled little children with golf club hacking away. Every paragraph an opportunity to counterargument and every debate a tug-of-war of moral reflection. We no longer accept or reflect upon views of truth. “I’m credentialed and published, but clearly you're not?”
A transition would work perfect here? The impact of toxic relationships can extend beyond immediate emotional distress. Chronic stress, linked to health issues, including anxiety and depression, results from prolonged exposure to negativity or ridicule. Understanding the long-term consequences of maintaining such relationships can motivate individuals to take action and prioritize their mental well-being. Ignore the virtual neofascists and hooded keyboard warriors. Engaging in self-reflection and seeking external support, such as counseling, can provide the tools to navigate these challenging dynamics and a tight trusted circle.
The Power of Supportive Networks
Supportive networks can act as a catalyst for personal growth. Encouragement, mutual respect, and understanding characterize these relationships. Surrounding oneself with positive influences can inspire individuals to reach new heights.
Just as a crew of rowers works together to steer a boat through turbulent waters, supportive networks help us overcome challenges. The team’s strength and motivation come from each member’s vital contribution. I did a company leadership course, and it involved two teams rowing in Miami Beach–pretty funny and ironic for me! Connecting with like-minded people builds a great support system for self-improvement. Find your tribe!
Additionally, engaging with a supportive network can lead to new opportunities for learning and collaboration. When individuals connect with others who challenge and inspire them, they are more likely to step outside their comfort zones and explore new avenues for growth. This exchange of ideas and experiences can spark creativity and innovation, allowing individuals to develop skills and insights that may have otherwise remained dormant. In the long run, the combined energy and collaborative spirit proves mutually beneficial, not only nurturing individual development but also ending up in collective accomplishments that extend far beyond the scope of any single participant.
Strategies for Asserting Control
The process of gaining control over one’s life is not passive; rather, it requires the conscious design and implementation of intentional strategies and decisive actions. Successfully accomplishing this requires carefully setting boundaries, thoughtfully and consciously choosing options, and consistently prioritizing personal well-being; these actions are essential to maintaining healthy relationships and protecting your personal energy. Boundaries define what is acceptable and what is not, allowing individuals to communicate their needs effectively.
I recently wrote about boundaries with suffering in silence with domestic abuse. Imagine boundaries as the walls of a fortress; they provide security and clarity. By clearly articulating limits, individuals can prevent others from encroaching on their emotional space. This practice not only fosters respect but also empowers individuals to take control of their lives.
Making Conscious Choices
Every choice made is a step toward shaping one’s life. Making careful choices helps you stay on top of things. This means checking out your options and seeing if they fit with what you believe in and what you want.
Consider the context of a traveler at a crossroads. Each path represents a different choice, leading to various destinations. By weighing the pros and cons of each option, people can make informed decisions that steer their lives in the desired direction. Faith-based decisions may factor in a person’s life along with values and goals. I’ve learned to look at all opportunities and their possibilities, understanding “fortune favors the bold [- sometimes].” And be willing to just simply “take your ball” and go home.
Prioritizing Self-Care
Self-care is not a luxury; it is a necessity for maintaining mental and emotional well-being. Prioritizing self-care involves engaging in activities that rejuvenate the mind, body, and spirit. This could range from exercise and healthy eating to pursuing hobbies and spending time with loved ones. I’ve learned to live with regrets and close some doors, understanding another door may open with suitable opportunities.
I like to think of self-care as refueling a vehicle. Without regular maintenance and refueling, the vehicle cannot perform well. By investing time in self-care, an individual may ensure they have the energy and resilience to navigate life’s challenges effectively.
Conclusion
Taking control of one’s life is a multifaceted journey that requires self-awareness, critical evaluation of relationships, and implementing intentional strategies. Recognizing that not everyone is part of one’s journey is crucial for fostering personal growth and well-being. By cultivating self-awareness, identifying toxic relationships, and surrounding oneself with supportive networks, individuals can create an environment that nurtures their true selves.
However, plenty of therapists argue that genuine self-discovery requires periods of solitude and introspection, conflicting with the constant social interaction emphasized by supportive networks. Separating from toxic relationships, while sometimes necessary, presents emotional challenges and can cause isolation before new, healthier connections form.
Finally, setting boundaries, making conscious choices, and prioritizing self-care are essential steps in asserting control over one’s life. Just as a ship’s captain must navigate through storms and calm seas alike, individuals must steer their lives with intention and purpose. Don’t let just anyone board your ship. You’re the captain of the ship. The trip to take charge is as much about growing and learning as it is reaching the goal. Even though it’s ugly and toxic, it teaches you how much you value peace and quiet.
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